Angry couples live longer??? Part 2

We left off yesterday asking if there was a better way to express ourselves without getting angry. We know that suppressing anger is detrimental to our health, but is there a better way to release it than ranting, raving and fighting?

The first thing to understand about anger is that it is a byproduct of a deeper emotional issue. It is a response to something we see, hear or experience. Anger is provoked by an event or memory whether past or present. Whether your hearing words of criticism from a loved one or co-worker or witnessing  the injustice of one group of people upon another. You hear, see or experience something that provokes the emotion of anger.

Now, when a couple gets angry and starts fighting, tempers flare, emotions are running high and this all adds fuel to the fire. The anger is ignited and they say things they many times regret. Words that are spoken can’t be retracted. Each one has to fire back more words in retaliation. Before long, things are out of control all because negative emotional buttons get pushed.

But if there would be a way to release the negative emotional button so there is nothing to get pushed, there would be no reason to rant, rave and fight to release anger.

If we could separate and release the negative emotional triggers so that we eliminate the "buttons", there would be no buttons for anyone to push. I would not need to lose my temper and vent on someone else to release my anger. I would simply need an open, honest discussion without a need for revenge.

Sound unrealistic? Have you ever tried to not get angry at someone for what they said to you? "I’m not going to get angry, I won’t get angry, I am going to stay calm." Yeah, sure…I tried this for years and  was never successful even though I worked hard trying to control my anger. I was one of those who suppressed it but would carry on the fight in my mind, over and over again.

With our God-given ability to "put off" one thought and "put on" another in it’s place, we can lay aside the issue that results in anger instead of trying to put a lid on it. Using the Embrace or Erace process enables us to release these emotional buttons.

Warmest regards,
Cathi